Dubai - my present home! ... Dubai - my future home?
"I was born in Dubai, lived in Dubai for nearly all my life, and currently working in Dubai ... it definitely makes sense!" ... and that is how I thought 3 weeks ago while evaluating whether I should start investing time and money into an apartment in Dubai for the future. It makes sense ... this is my home after all!
Today ... I woke up with a jolt, got myself ready for a meeting, jumped into noonShadow and zoomed out ... and while waiting in traffic for 10 mins to move thankfully for an inch, I finally came to a conclusion:
"This place is too fast-paced to be my home ... I have to leave"
I finally came to rest, knowing that I prefer a chillaxed life - not a problem-free life, but a chillaxed life, slow-paced with the potential of doing more than just work, getting stuck in traffic and catering on different needs that I can live without.
Don't get me wrong ... I LOVE Dubai! I have memories lying in every spot and corner of Dubai, tyre marks on nearly every road in Dubai, different friends for every era spent in Dubai. It's just ...home :)
...but the problem is, it became too fast for my taste. I always enjoyed Dubai, where you can just relax driving in open roads, chillaxing at the beach with few people around you, going to a mall and find parking even on weekends, studying without the need to look at your mobile phone every second to make sure you didn't miss that "important" call from your boss, reaching your peaceful home in the outskirts of the city in under 20 mins - I just want that back. Now, all I think about is how to spend the 2 hours left after work, before I hit the sack ... dead tired.
I want to:
- Travel
- Do photography
- play guitar/sing/compose
- Dive
- Drive
- Kart
- Learn languages
- spend time with family
- spend time with friends
- read books
- write stuff
- study
and most of all ... spend time with God without feeling like you have something to do all the time.
Again, I do not want to become a free-rider! I am not saying i do not want to work ... or that I want to just live the "dream" ... i just want a more chillaxed life.
I cannot complain - I have a wonderful job, an amazing car, great friends, super family, a church life that I am envied for - but I want some of this, and still do most of the above.
Arguments:
1- Risk of living a backward life - yes, true but I can live with that setback in exchange for a quiet life.
2- Not the same money - yes, but I am spending this money because I am in Dubai, otherwise I am fine without most of it.
3- Plan flawless? - no it isn't but its the closest to ideal than I can ever imagine.
4-Giving up the life, friends and family ... just like that? No - but I love the idea of starting fresh again. As I said I love that part of my life ... so this will be the hardest part, or the only obstacle.
General Questions
Q)When?
A) Don't know ... definitely not before I sort my passport problems.
Q)Where?
A) Under investigation - I have a couple of places already in mind, but they don't appear to be cities to me. I am open to suggestions.
Q)Are you serious about all this?
A)I am getting there :)
Q) Going alone?
A) Not sure yet, but would hate to do this alone.
"Where I lay my head is home ..."
posted by antimena @ 3/22/2006 03:56:00 PM
12 comments
12 Comments:
I agree with you that we all got used to it, even myself - but this is not the point. My point is that life is to be enjoyed (not wasted, either in stress or in foolish things), and I am finding it harder and harder to do that with the passage of time. Instead of breaking out into regular stress frenzies, I would rather live a life with less doses of stress.
Easy to get to let go? No ... it is something that can take maybe a year before I release Dubai from my system, but worth doing to just enjoy a quieter life. Even for the place I will go to, it has to satisfy many 'minimum requirements' before I leave. That will yet take sometime, and give me more time to think and evaluate.
I took breaks before (and only in the past year)- I went to a long trip to Europe, to Africa - why did I always dread coming back? i have to admit that i missed my friends, family etc, but the times I was out of the country, and I was in a quieter place (not Europe definitely), I was enjoying it.
We all complain? Yes. We got used to this style? Sort of. Enjoy it? Honestly no. I enjoy the friends, family etc - but i stopped enjoying Dubai sometime ago.
The place is nothing ya mena really it’s nothing; it’s what u r doing in that place that matters, if u r enjoying ur family, friends, activities here in Dubai then u r enjoying Dubai, because Dubai is the place offering u all of these.
It's a shame to hear that Dubai isnt the place it used to be...but I can definitely agree with you on that point! From what I saw (and this was too long ago) it has become an overpopulated concrete jungle with too many hotels and not enough infrasructure such as roads, hospitals etc. Obviously town planners have not been hired in the sphere of the expatriate community.
I dont know what you mean by living a quieter life...do you mean living in a village? Does that mean that you are willing to give up technology and work the field? Grow grapes and maintain a vineyard?
The majority of any developed city is 10x more fast paced than Dubai - I can guarantee that one! And if you think that it will take a year to adjust somewhere other than Dubai...then think again. It took me approx 2 years and I didnt regard Dubai as home. Dubai and the rest of the Middle East is a place that is extraordinary and incredibly unique. Dubai living is luxury at its peak (and I understand that most aren't living in the top rung of hierarchy). This makes day-to-day life in a western developed city tiresome, stressful and routine.
You are a unique case in that you're at the cross roads and you need to decide as to where home will be for the rest of your life. So you are looking at this very differently to the rest of us. See it as a privilege that you can choose your new home rather than the majority of us just born into our allegiance/citizenship/home.
Keep in mind that any city has is positives and negatives...
As someone said in this blog...its the people that can make a city. I am in total agreeance. Embrace the people around you and value them rather than the material possessions and lifestyle that one has. Thats what made Dubai great for me. And I guess in some ways why Dubai is not a place for me to go back to as much anymore.
On the brighter side...You can always come and live in Sydney...a place that is stressful, naturally beautiful, incredibly expensive, developed (even at the fore-front of many things), chic, fast paced and unique...I can help you adjust!
J
xxxx
Wow.....This post really hit home for me in many aspects.
Mina, you are right about many points, and all the opposing comments are right about many points as well.
"Life is made to be enjoyed". I think this is so true mina. Religious people say that the purpose of life is to fulfill the unique purpose you were created for, glorify God and prepare yourself for the eternity. Humanitarians say; it is to realize your full potential as Mina, John, Bassem,...but I think we all agree on that you only get one shot to live it, so there is no need to not be happy if you can be, or at least think that by changing something you might be.
The question for you is: will leaving Dubai really make you happier???
This is something you only can answer as it depends solely on your values and your priorities.
For me, having recently left Dubai to the slower paced Amman, I can definitely agree that having at least one or more hours a day to read (or do whatever you please) instead of wasting it in traffic is something nice. Living in a place where people are not worried about how much the newer rents will be and hence how much everything else will be and what sacrifices will they be making in their lifestyle afterwards to be able to cope up or even thinking to go back home to their original countries is something nice as well. Not living in a top notch city where it doesn't really matter that much if you are not driving this kind of car or going out to those kind of hotels and just having fewer options which are all affordable by people similar to you is also chillaxing as you put it :)
However, I have to say that it is different for me, as Dubai is not my hometown like you, and I have been an expat for more than 2 and half years now so I got pretty much used to it. I also made this move because I wanted to achieve career goals, so this has got me pretty focused so far, but I am not sure if your move for a more enjoyable lifestyle will make you survive losing the great social life you have in Dubai and the feeling of home you must have there, because, for many people, those are, by definition, main parts of an enjoyable life.
I would like to say also, that I disagree with Europe as a slower paced option. You don't have to live in London, Rome, or Paris, but there are many many decent and very beautiful European cities that are half as crazy as Dubai.
My strictly personal opinion is that if you have thought of some nice options and won't lose much career wise, why not give it a try ? You can always come back to Dubai in your case, and as the logo of emirates goes: Keep Discovering...
Wow!
John: I, out of all people that you can imagine (and maybe Jacky can support that), am all about my friends, my family etc. The reason why many things happened in my life, was because my life was centred around that. So I couldn't agree with you more - its not the place, its the people you love, the things you do etc.
however - what happens when you really do not have time to keep up with your friends? your family? the things you want to do? the things that you have to do? I agree I am not the expert on time management, in addition to the fact that I am an Egyptian (j/k ;)), but even then i feel like "Khalas! enough is enough!" If I stay in Dubai, and I will have the same level of everything (social etc etc) as being in a new place - then I think I would rather be in a new place.
John, why did people come here from their countries, where they have their friends, family and social life - their home? Food for thought...
Mind you - I am not saying I will move tomorrow, or that this is part of my short term plans.
Jacky: Hoorah! Thanks for your valuable visit.
heheheh - although i thought about growing what I will eat etc, but no that is not what I meant. I probably gave off the vibe that I am looking for the other extreme of this spectrum. Actually I am looking for a more relaxed place - with similarities to the place i call home. It could be just Kuwait for all I care :)
I agree with you that 1 year sounds optimistic to get adjusted, but that is why I want to make sure where I go to is somewhere I will not feel totally out of place. You know what - it might not happen, that I find a place like that. My argument is, if I do find it, and it is really God's will that my life is to serve Him there better, then I will move immediately.
Bassem: :) It's nice seeing your name here :)
I think you summed it up: "it depends solely on your values and your priorities"
You made me look at it from an angle that I did not discuss on this blog, although very essential: What does God want me to do? Where does He want me to move? Thanks for that :)
Yeah I agree that your view as an expat will be different than mine - but still very valuable because it proves a general point about what Dubai is becoming. That is what scares me - it is growing out of control in many areas, and this reflects on our lives in many ways. Maybe my question is: Is this right? Should it happen this way?
----------------------------------
I am not asking for a perfect life :) I just pray that Dubai will come to its senses, give me a passport, instead of making me a Citizen of the Unknown, chillax a bit and give us a chance to enjoy life a bit - even if it is for a price.
Thanks all
Oh My Lord,
This is probably the most popular post I have ever encountered. It's very interesting how people view the same things so differently. I have always wanted to leave Dubai and try out something different but for some reason, none of the opportunities that come my way eventually materialize. It's actually extremely surprising how they all flop last minute. But everytime they fail, I look at Dubai differently - realizing that this spot on the map is not really about skyscrapers and materialistic people. It's about a melting pot of attitudes - it's about a country transitioning so fast that sooner or later we will just become a highly vague nation -no identity - just a mosaic of everything. I agree its fast paced but somebody said here, every place has its pros and cons - its where you feel you have a purpose at the end of the day.
The more the doors close to leaving Dubai,the more I am cornered with a bigger vision for this place. I just received an email about the proposed projects in Dubai during the next three years - its unbelievable - an underwater hotel, a whole new set of man made islands, the largest ski dome in the world, the largest mall in the world - guys can you believe the size expansion here? Can you believe the opportunities you will have to meet people? Can you see the amount of people who will come here and then collapse at the excessive materialism that will jsut overwhelm this place? The more I think about this, the more I realize God wants a remnant of his people here - who are different, easily identifiable and those who can impact the newcomers. What more can be more suitable than people who are part of the culture, i.e., grew up here, strongly supported by the valuable contribution of expatriates who bring their alive churches here too? The more satisfied you become materialistically, the more you start searching for more meaning and thats where the dubaiians are responsible to contribute :).
Mina, until you and I are graciously endowed with a passport, I think we have an identity that I doubt any other people share. We are in the perfect balance between the cosmopolitan and homely, eastern and western - we are probably the most tolerant people towards other cultures because we have seen it all - We are not narrow minded americans who think egyptians still live in the pyramids nor are we as oppressive as some arab cultures are. We have learnt to strike the perfect chord to live in harmony with everybody - we have learnt to see things from other people's perspectives and TRULY accept them too. I mean, with all due respect to people who moved out to study in other places, we are probably the only people who understand youth life here and completely fathom the mentality! This is talent/experience is something to consider when making your decisions. Yes, I agree you dont see your family and neither do I but weigh your priorities with who you have become to be growing up, studying and working here. I am sure God will use that wherever you go but economically, it is more efficient here :).
This is not to rain on your parade of wanting to leave but just my two pence :).
In the meantime, anybody else blogging here one more time should offer us a home visit - I mean we need to try out our options you know :P (thank you jacqueline!).
And no thank you, we are not refugees nor are we "farafeers" - we are probably the least prejudiced and the most sophisticated nation around the area :) (Felt "in the world" was too arrogant :P )
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Antimena :-) I think it’s ur call now, I don’t think u’ll ever get such scattered opinions, but it’s still ur call, I guess u just need to find an answer for this question “What does God want me to do?”
I know it’s not easy to find an answer for this question as it’s another topic that we’ll be spending a lot of time discussing “How to listen to God”, but just a small hint, God can send u his answer through ur blog, right Amy?? ;-)
John! That is so mean :(! I didnt mean to speak for God - I just shared my vision :) I mean you need to maintain your sanity in this country somehow!
Hmm .. Delicious food for thought I have to say..
Out of all what have been said .. I would REALLY like to hear Amy say "farafeers" :D .. This alone would make enough counter-argument :D .. just joking ya Amy :)
Mena, it's obvious from the unusually massive sized comments that the topic rings some bells for almost everybody, doesn't it?:)
The thought of leaving is becoming more and more popular.. Leaving to another place because of something you cannot stand in the place you currently are or something good you want to find in another place.
The equally popular problem or obstacle remains the things you dont want to leave behind .. but another longer-term problem in my opinion, is that there is no place you can move on to where you won't find something that would make you consider leaving it later.. or at least something(s) you will not stand.. The same reason why everybody wants to leave..
You want to leave Dubai because you can't "chillax", others want to leave Canada because of the depressing weather, many are not happy in the US because of the crazy $$ wheel out there, Europe because of the tax, some would want to leave the chillaxing indian ocean island or the small austrian town because it got too slow for them, I don't know about Sydney, but of course I wouldn't find it hard to get you 2 ZILLION reasons to leave Egypt ..
I'm not trying to prove that nowhere is worth the fuss of packing.. You know moving away was a very positive experience with me .. But my only 2 fels is just to say that if your main reason for wishing to leave is to flee something you don't like, then make sure it's truely dreadful :)
See there you go!! Prejudiced Egyptian!! Naccache mesh tay2ak!! But still miss you bardo :) . However, I still guess you helped illustrate my post about living in harmony with other cultures even better :P.
Mena, that is the also a valid reason - make sure what you're escaping is really unliveable because I think at some point we as being changeable humans, will think to move out too - the guy who wrote The Pilgrim sure knew what He was talking about :D. Man, I look forward to Heaven!!!
Well well well. Typical of Mena to be stirring up so much discussion! I, too, have an opinion to contribute to the table.
Firstly, like many others, I sympathize with the "at a crossroads" situation in life, and the whir of thoughts and emotions that come with that period. Dreams, hopes for better things, cool ideas, we can FINALLY do all this stuff we've 'always wanted to do,' be that person we've always wanted to be. No ropes to hold down the kite, we can fly to wherever we please, to find fulfillment, satisfaction, purpose, bliss. I think as much as God calls us to be a 'remnant' as Amy had said, and patiently stand for His Holy name even in times of trouble, unhappiness, or turmoil, I think God also calls us to be brave, ambitious, hopeful, proactive. Not to just sit still and boil over with these feelings of curiosity, restlessness..you know, you'll always wonder what things would have been like if you had made the decision to do something different, unexpected, and moved.
I say if God has given you the resources (money, talent to get a different job, etc) you should definitely do something different. Move, be creative, be different, be brave, be confident. Obviously family and friends are always important, but in this day and age we can keep in touch and travel like no other times. Being far from these things also gives you the opportunity to explore other things, to get wrapped up in other passions through reading, serving, exploring.
Go!
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