Nice quote

"The worst echo is ... silence"(Mena Migally after watching an ad on TV - 2006)

Dubai - my present home! ... Dubai - my future home?

"I was born in Dubai, lived in Dubai for nearly all my life, and currently working in Dubai ... it definitely makes sense!" ... and that is how I thought 3 weeks ago while evaluating whether I should start investing time and money into an apartment in Dubai for the future. It makes sense ... this is my home after all!

Today ... I woke up with a jolt, got myself ready for a meeting, jumped into noonShadow and zoomed out ... and while waiting in traffic for 10 mins to move thankfully for an inch, I finally came to a conclusion:

"This place is too fast-paced to be my home ... I have to leave"

I finally came to rest, knowing that I prefer a chillaxed life - not a problem-free life, but a chillaxed life, slow-paced with the potential of doing more than just work, getting stuck in traffic and catering on different needs that I can live without.

Don't get me wrong ... I LOVE Dubai! I have memories lying in every spot and corner of Dubai, tyre marks on nearly every road in Dubai, different friends for every era spent in Dubai. It's just ...home :)

...but the problem is, it became too fast for my taste. I always enjoyed Dubai, where you can just relax driving in open roads, chillaxing at the beach with few people around you, going to a mall and find parking even on weekends, studying without the need to look at your mobile phone every second to make sure you didn't miss that "important" call from your boss, reaching your peaceful home in the outskirts of the city in under 20 mins - I just want that back. Now, all I think about is how to spend the 2 hours left after work, before I hit the sack ... dead tired.

I want to:

- Travel
- Do photography
- play guitar/sing/compose
- Dive
- Drive
- Kart
- Learn languages
- spend time with family
- spend time with friends
- read books
- write stuff
- study

and most of all ... spend time with God without feeling like you have something to do all the time.

Again, I do not want to become a free-rider! I am not saying i do not want to work ... or that I want to just live the "dream" ... i just want a more chillaxed life.

I cannot complain - I have a wonderful job, an amazing car, great friends, super family, a church life that I am envied for - but I want some of this, and still do most of the above.

Arguments:
1- Risk of living a backward life - yes, true but I can live with that setback in exchange for a quiet life.
2- Not the same money - yes, but I am spending this money because I am in Dubai, otherwise I am fine without most of it.
3- Plan flawless? - no it isn't but its the closest to ideal than I can ever imagine.
4-Giving up the life, friends and family ... just like that? No - but I love the idea of starting fresh again. As I said I love that part of my life ... so this will be the hardest part, or the only obstacle.

General Questions
Q)When?
A) Don't know ... definitely not before I sort my passport problems.

Q)Where?
A) Under investigation - I have a couple of places already in mind, but they don't appear to be cities to me. I am open to suggestions.

Q)Are you serious about all this?
A)I am getting there :)

Q) Going alone?
A) Not sure yet, but would hate to do this alone.

"Where I lay my head is home ..."

Poems from the attic ... pt 4

I was not too comfortable sharing this poem. A poem reflecting the state of weakness I am in without my Lord ... but what i always loved about it, is that my struggles never end empty ... they always end with a promise: The rain must fall!

the rain must fall

how we live to see the rain
building up in clouds
things that are dark
things ... once green
with boulders and flowers lying on them
I walk around trying to capture the gloom
to cast it away
the spell never found
no more
never let it surround me
but it is in my soul now
ive inhaled the darkness ...


...and i fall on my knees
skin scorched by the touch of once soft grass
holding the sand that covers the earth
letting the wind carry it away
along with the song of agony
that my being let out
one cry
the flashback is back

violins crashing
drums booming
as i stand in the midst of emptiness
the emptiness of my heart
crumbling slowly in a corner
waiting to be held
but the silence engulfs me slowly
my breath marking the tick of time
blood running fast making me cold...


...and i go back
i watch the clouds again
but standing up high
wondering what these clouds mean now
but not wanting to hurt the flowers on the way
i walk on my tip toes
my eyes up to the one who controls what is in the clouds
for i just want the rain to come
let the flowers live
the grass carpeting the scene
the animals running
and the smile on my face
confidence in the Lord of Lords
peace from the Prince of Peace
i am a son ... i am a son
the words on my mind now
while i wait for the rain

He promised me

Father never betrays His son
never allows him to step on the flowers, mind you
but to use the boulders to touch the clouds
Father loves the son

He promised me ... the rain

the rain will fall

the rain must fall

when this desert is ready to become Eden

Mena "locked" Migally
20/November/02

Poems from the attic ... pt 3

A more refreshing one ... from the 2001 era!

addicted to a smile

My body asked for mercy
My heart asked for confirmation
It is bloody red by now

I listened to her voice
as she spoke to me with grace
I tried comparing it to the sweetest song
she was still ahead
her eyes glazed under the midday sun
sitting there engulfed by lightning
I couldnt talk
my vocal chords were on hold
my heart raced
to the pace of lightning
clothed in blue and black
her smile was a reminder
that she was the best thing
that i have ever seen
and i asked myself
who will help me out

the answer was
she already did

staying up all night
to let her words remove
the soot from around my soul
to let her shake the muscles on my face
that i really wanted to use
to let her be the last thing i see at night
in my dreams i can see
her standing smiling at me
my hands go around her
we are already in the midst of a crowd
someone was playing a mellow Fade to black
all i was thinking of
"how life turned to be as sweet as her smile"

My brother woke me up
questioning the smile on my face

Mena "not my best ... but my favourite" Migally
Date: 14/October/2001

Poems from the attic ... pt 2

Another one from an era I chose to forget :) Don't mind the black mood ...

See the light

Help me find it
I lost my eyes along the way
all I see now is darkness
because I was scared
to see the light when it was still there

Now my tongue is not there
the sweet voice that helped all
cannot help myself anymore
what I say now
is false and dark
because I was scared
to say the truth while I still can

I cannot walk anymore
my legs torn off
by the evil forces of this world
where I used to walk, I cannot go now
My crutches made of special deceit
because I was scared
to walk into the right place at the right time

My heart still beats
my brain is long dead
the battle between the forces
causing the pain inside
one day when a force wins
I will know whether I shall see again
whether I shall sing and talk again
whether I shall walk and dance again
whether I shall love not hate again
and that is because I was wise
to keep my faith in life
my faith in love
my faith in a world and its people
steady through the many bumps of my life

Mena "troubadour" Migally (10/Apr/2001)

Poems from the attic ... pt 1

I have decided to dust off my old poems, and give them a chance to see the light again. With each poem, I revisted important and crucial points in my life ... points that shaped me as ... me, i guess :) I will share them with you ...

When I wrote these poems, they were never meant to be shared ... so don't be too critical :D Many hold very personal memories, therefore make much more sense to me than to others ... others are just words i put together to describe the way I felt. When did I write them? Age range 16 - 20, mostly the younger side of it, so do not mind the bad english :) Barely edited ... here is the first one:

David & modern Goliath

Freedom
Free them
Yes, those kids
Those kids in rags
with blood on their hands
Clutching the stone
Heavier than they are
They are so graceful

Yes their eyes
Carry childish fear
Fear of the dark
Yet, it sparks
With the need
With the desire
To have a land
Of their own
The land of the free

They took their land
The land they now defend
Till the very end
The land
That belongs to the people

Their ancestors looking down on them
Raising their hands
In praise
In protest
They took a shot
They were hunted down
Now it is the kids

Who is going to use the stone?
The bloody stone …

David and Goliath
Same story
Opposite sides
Same stone
Same sling
The big, the mighty
The child, the shepherd
The sharp sword with the golden grip
Now an AK-40 with an accurate cross hair
The sling
Still the same sling
The stone
The same stones
The victory
Is still at war
The loss of lives
The gain of faith

The end of the pain
Is in no ones hands
As I stand here
Alone
No stone
No side taken
No purpose
Just a screen
Displaying the kids
The same kids
With the same stone
And people in green
With guns
Big ones
Aiming at the little head
The scream
The terror
The shot
I switch the channel

Mena "the stone" Migally

Date: 11/6/2000